Dr. Travis Gee
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  • How to Shoot Yourself in the Foot in Family Court
  • The Alienating Parent
  • The Second Opinion
  • Parental Alienation
  • Your Pre-Sentence Report
  • Positive Psychology
  • Coping With Narcissism
  • Victims of Domestic Violence
  • Couples Counselling
  • Exploring Your Story WIth Narrative Psychology
  • Post-Separation Suicide Risk
  • International Services
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Blokes

Blokes are a difficult lot to get in to get some help. "She'll be right,""Men don't whinge," "I'm strong enough to do it alone," are typical arguments against getting help, no matter how much it may be needed. 

Males still carry a lot of cultural baggage that says they don't need help. But if you think about it, that's part of what might be seen as "disposability," the attitude that men can be replaced.  Divorced dads are painfully aware of this attitude, but think back - who dies in wars? Who stands up for women and children and gets between them and the bad guy, at personal expense? Who accompanies the captain of the ship to the bottom?  If men thought about getting help in many situations, they wouldn't be so motivated to act without thinking. They might not be so driven to excel at survival-related skills.

But often, even in a self-sacrificing situation, success depends on survival, and survival involves some level of teamwork. Lots of great war stories are about one bloke doing amazing things, which reinforces the usual narrative. But the real story is about the team they're on who made what these heroes did possible.  We don't often hear it, but there have been miniseries that tell the tale: Band of Brothers , Black Sheep Squadron  and the like get at teamwork, where the hero does what he does because somebody shot an enemy off of his tail. 

With therapy, a team of two may be all it takes. Sometimes more, depending on what the problems are (hint: There's often more than one.)  Your mates may seem helpful, but you have to take stock of which are good mates, and which will be the "old mate" who drags you down. Good mates will pull you up, give you a hand, and lend an ear. But good as they are to have, even the best may not have some of the answers you need. Your GP can give you a referral to a psychologist if you need one, or a psychiatrist if the problems seem complicated and severe.

Prescriptions can be part of the plan your doctor sees. Every condition calls for the doc to dip into one toolbox or the other.  When you broke your leg, you wore a cast and used a crutch, right? When you stuffed your lower back you saw a physio, right?  Sometimes something can see you through a bad time and help you get the skills you need to come out the other side. Antidepressants and anxiety meds are just one more tool in the toolbox.  Seeing a psychologist while you're on them helps monitor any important side effects, and allows you to do an apprenticeship in one coping skill or another - relaxation, anger management, relationships, drug and alcohol problems, or whatever.  Putting tools in your own toolbox is never a bad thing. Just think of that T-1 torx bit you've never used but would never throw out! 

In collaboration with the Blokes' Advice Facebook group, I've developed this 'treasure map' handout (link below) that you can print and pass to any bloke you might thing would benefit from a roadmap to the Australian health system for psychological problems. 


Download Treasure Map

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